Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Everyone: I think I'm dying. Over the last few days I've been getting all these weird symptoms and it makes no sense and I need your medical wisdom! Also I wanted to say goodbye and thanks for all the memories!

Symptoms:
-extremely sore obliques (this could be a side effect of pilates the other day, but there's really no way of knowing)
-random itchy bites ALL OVER (it's possible I have bed bugs)
-right side of jaw is extremely sore (this actually is really weird)
-oppressive fullness feeling/pressure like I just got back from Golden Corral, even though all I've eaten today is a few bites of Cream of Wheat.
-intermittent bouts of being really cold
-there's nail polish ALL over my hands. This may be a result of a failed attempt at marbling (pinterest made it look so easy)



If anyone can decipher these clues, please let me know what you find out. Until then, I will be here...finalizing my will...overseeing some last minute preparation on that Cold Stone raid...

4 comments:

SKISLN said...

It's lupus. I suggest you become a southern gothic writer while there's still time.

Karrot Soup said...

Ha, my husband is funny. Good thing one of us is! Do you ever get bad acne though? That could be the jaw thing, a deep one starting can be really sore...it's all I've got, sorry. (But I'm sure sleeping with that comb will help the itchies.)

Mish said...

Thanks for your suggestions, guys, and sorry to keep you in suspense. I'm happy to report that all symptoms were gone within a couple days and haven't since resurfaced. So, that was weird.

Collette Mae said...

And here I thought it was some kind of riddle. Darn.