Six Books That Have Significantly Influenced My Worldview

I'm pretty sure it was inspired when I got into a conversation one day with JJ that ended in him marching me to the bookstore and making me buy this book. Pretty sure I didn't really understand the Atonement - or the gospel, for that matter - until I read this.



Some may deem Dr. L to be heavy-handed and unreasonable, and maybe that is sometimes the case. Nevertheless, reading this book endowed me with a perspective on marriage and men that was radically different from everything I had ever believed on the subject, yet which I knew to be absolutely true. A must-read for every female.




If you read this blog at all, you know how I love this book. Solomon's exhaustive research makes it terrifically informative; personal accounts render it intensely affecting. I found the reading of this book to be cathartic without waning overly sentimental. My go-to for everything related to the big D.




Probably the single most relevant book I've read to date. The premise is simple, yet the contents quite honestly rocked my world. Pretty much the basis for everything I believe and everything I aim to do in my life. What is the myth of self-esteem, anyway? Not telling, you'll have to go here.
(Thanks to Fa for gifting me his copy, btw).



Truly, no one could have done justice to a subject like this except our man Clive. Reading it humbled me in a way that I'd never been humbled before, and my entire conception of deity has never since been the same. If you haven't read it, please do so. Now. Read it now.




Oh man. Jack helped me get in touch with a whole side of my humor I never even knew I had. Today he is my number one source for gauging wit compatibility; that is, if you find this anecdote anywhere near hilarious, it's a pretty good bet that you and I are going to be friends.

Everything is cool

Here's a brief update in "things-that-were-awesome" format:

Painting and beautifying our room was awesome.

The circus was super weird, and awesome.

This fruit basket cake I made for Carol's birthday, which happened to be vegan, which happened to be the most delicious chocolate cake anyone had ever had, was awesome.

Seeing this disturbed little man perform in concert was AWESOME.

Free tickets to Motocross was awesome.

This book was awesome.

Phoenix was much too short, but still awesome.

And those are the things that are awesome.

Sorry guys

Zugman called me out on being emo. I had begun to suspect as much, especially since no one is brave enough to comment anymore. See, I've got this obnoxious need to make my truths beautiful, but it's true, let's get real - unless you're a really good writer, it usually just comes out sounding whiny. So, I'd like to formally apologize to my faithful readers, and give you my committed pledge from henceforth to spare you the maudlin confessionals and start taking more from my fluffier truths. Like this mustachioed picture of and C. and me.

Morning

"But at three o’clock in the morning, a forgotten package has the same tragic importance as a death sentence... in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day."

F. Scott Fitzgerald said that, and I think we all know exactly what he means. We wake up in the middle of the night as if we had been violently shaken, but really, it is only our frenetic mind, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to get a head start on the day's anxieties. It is the loneliest, most helpless moment we face the entire day. It is one of the darkest nights the soul can know.

My three o'clock is 6:25am, five minutes before my alarm goes off. At that moment I am flooded with that familiar early-morning experience that can only be described as panic, and I am wide awake. Every anxiety, doubt or dark thought that I have ever thought overwhelms me at once, as if they had all joined forces the night before and made a solemn pact to keep me from leaving my bed. At that moment, I am aware of every single thing that I must do today, only the degree of difficulty for each seems magnified one hundred fold and I know that there's no way I can be expected to get up and face that amorphous cloud of pain. Only a crazy person would willingly put themselves through that. It is a wonder that any of us get out of bed at all.

But we do. That's just the thing. Every day, millions of us get out of bed, and that alone should be an incredible piece of hope for us. Not only because it demonstrates the resilient nature of humans, but because it proves that our faith is indeed rewarded - or else we wouldn't keep doing it, would we? We get out of bed solely on the basis of faith - faith that the day will get easier, that it won't be nearly as painful as it seems now, that somehow we will pass the hours and be able to return at the end to our sleepy oblivion. To require such extreme faith at such an early hour seems like too much to ask sometimes, yet we prove day after day that it is not too much. And the best part is that it does get better. Sometimes only in a matter of minutes. It is all about that initial test that takes place when our windows are yet dark and our minds foggy.

If you got out of bed this morning, consider yourself high-fived. Don't underestimate the courage it required of you.



Stay faithful, everyone.

Perplexed, Portland

There's been a question burning in my soul for quite some time now, one that I've alluded to before but that I would like to now formally pose to you all:

Where do trials come from, and are we supposed to fight them?

Let me illustrate my confusion with a quote from George Q. Cannon:

"Do not allow darkness and gloom to enter into your hearts. I want to give you a rule by which you may know that the spirit which you have is the right spirit. The Spirit of God produces cheerfulness, joy, light and good feelings. Whenever you feel gloomy and despondent and are downcast, unless it be for your sins, you may know it is not the Spirit of God which you have. Fight against it and drive it out of your heart. The Spirit of God is a spirit of hope; it is not a spirit of gloom."

It seems straightforward enough, but here's what I don't get: Aren't darkness and gloom just like any other trial we mortals are subjected to? And aren't trials, after all, very good for the development of our characters, and indeed necessary for our eternal progression? My understanding is that (correct me if I'm missing something), while gloom and despondency themselves may not come of God, they are still vital experiences that He allows us to suffer for His own wise purposes. I've certainly felt in my life that the pains which have so alienated me from everything light and truth have also, paradoxically, drawn me closer to Him, and for this reason I would never trade those experiences.

Why, then, would I ever want to fight these feelings that ultimately improve me? Who would I be without these refining experiences?

And if these refining experiences are the will of the Lord, as I believe they are, then who am I to think that my own feeble efforts could do anything to remove them anyhow?

I just don't know. While you're pondering that, here's my pix from Portland last month:

We gon' find you

All I have to say is, of course the summer I decide to stop making rape and racist jokes, this video would come out:



Followed by this one:






Maybe next summer.

I Am Grateful For My Hands

Why? Because they allow me to make all sorts of awesome crafts!

Yes, I know this is a domain already very thoroughly explored by someone else we know, and to be honest, I'm pretty late getting onto the scene. But, after happening upon some craft blogs a few weeks back, I decided to try my hand at some of the twee little projects I found. Actually, to be more accurate, I got overtaken by the twee little projects I found, and was slave to them 24/7 until they were finished - there really wasn't a lot of free will involved.

I totally understand now why quelquejour exists. These things really do take over your life. One day you're fine, just livin' your life, and then by some freak accident you come across a tutorial online for a ruffly, DIY whathaveyou, and suddenly you cannot think about anything else; you spend all your free time contemplating fabric glue and stop-fray; you can't pay attention in class because you're too busy trying to figure out when you can get yourself up to Joann next. Basically your life is robbed from you until you find a way to make whatever adorable thing it is you found online. It doesn't help that there are SO MANY of them, so that there's this constant to-do list in your mind of all the crafts you need to make before you can rest again. It all makes sense now.

Thankfully, I think my episode is coming to a close. I still have a few lingering items on my list, but the major projects are finished and I hope to be allowed a hiatus, because honestly, that was getting a little ridiculous. And after a while it's not even fun anymore, you just want to get it done. And in the end your project never looks as good as the one on the tutorial.

But anyhow, here are the finished products!

Embellished tee. Unfortunately my camera sucks so it's hard to see, but the gist is that I cut out a bunch of fabric hearts of the same color and sewed them all over the neckline.

Voila, dressed-up tee.

Here I did the same thing, except with flowers instead of hearts. Again, sorry it looks like vomit. I promise it's actually pretty.




Rosette shirt! This one is my fave, and was actually very easy to make, if rather time-consuming.


This one used to be my 'I only like NY as a friend' shirt, but I've never liked how it was so obviously ironed-on, so I decided to put a geisha silk screen on top of it instead. Geishas: Unfortunate historical symbols, great fashion!

Ok, I know ribbon/flower headbands are soOoOoOo trendy these days, and trust me, that did discourage me somewhat. But I had to try them. This blurry one is a white bow.

And despite what the camera would have you believe, these flowers are pink.


And here are all the others.

This one is an exact replica of a project I saw on Dear Lizzy. It's a little funky-er, but I like it. Plus, it was super easy.



Ok. Now for a change in pace.
A few months back I saw this beautiful cake in O magazine. I believe my exact thoughts went something like, "That cake is sooo pretty, and I bet it's super easy to make, too!"

Here's how my confidence translated. (Granted, I had pretty much given up by the time the fondant flowers were supposed to go on, which is why you can see they didn't even make it to flower form).

Crestfallen, I swore I would never make a cake again. Until this week, when I decided to give it another go, what the heck.

Slightly more respectable, and now I can rest in peace. I'm pretty sure I will never attempt anything like this again, though. As it turns out, cake-decorating is actually really really really difficult. But it's also really trendy, so maybe I'll save my pride and opt out for that reason instead. :)

I guess I'm also supposed to share the names of the sites I stole my projects from. I got most of my ideas from Dear Lizzy, the fabric heart refashion from Made by Lex, and I made my flower headbands using this tutorial. I'm hesitant to share those, cause we all know that the easiest way to quit is never to start in the first place, and I'd hate to be responsible for something like that. Just be careful, ladies.

Well, that about wraps it up for now. Peace in this nation, have a lovely week.