I got my license, fools

And I actually did have plenty of other things I could have been doing besides creating this absurd graphic, so, that should tell you how big of a deal this is.

Claiming What's Rightfully Mine

December is great. I like December. Here are two reasons why:

1. Christmas.
2. Birthday freebies.

Yesterday I spent a very productive hour online signing up for a multitude of birthday clubs and newsletters. My motivation? It's simple, darling!

How about a:
Free frozen creation on your birthday at Cold Stone Creamery?
$15 off coupon at Happy Sumo anytime during the month of your birthday?
Free burger on your birthday at Red Robin?
Free meal at Benihana (up to $30) anytime during the month of your birthday?

If this doesn't sound appealing to you, well then, you are not my son. In addition to the beauties listed above, I also have morsels waiting for me at Baskin Robbins, Papa Murphy's, Mimi's Cafe. Marie Callender's, Noodles & Company, Red Lobster, and probably others that I don't remember right now because I was clearly experiencing some sort of manic episode at the time and cannot be held accountable for my actions.

I'm well aware now that I can expect to be deluged with a flood of irrelevant emails from the above-listed chains. But you know what? It's actually worth it. And just so you know, these are only the ones I had to sign up for. There are plenty others where you just walk in and say it's your birthday, and bam! free sundae for you. Sometimes I love this world.

Yes, this is going to be a fine month indeed. And my actual birthday? Let's just say I will not be celebrating that day in my skinny jeans.